The Primaries, Part I

I wake up — every day the same as the last. I put on my grey jumper and tattered pants, attempt to smooth out my noticeably tangled golden hair, and wait by the wrought iron gates. A piece of broken glass across from my cell serves as my mirror. I catch myself staring at the girl with the crack going down the middle of her face. Her eyes show back green and hopeful but I know only sadness lies beyond the clouded reflection. Those who created this place call it The Primaries, serving as an education and rehabilitation center for troubled youth and the occasional orphan like myself. The guards here have begun to like me, I read them stories and they let me have a few minutes in the garden every day, my oasis in this hell that is my life. The garden is only a slab of grass behind the housing building with one patch consisting of five flowers and one giant willow tree, hunched over like someone who carries the world on their back.     

It is my last day here at The Primaries, it’s also my 18th birthday today, so the guards gave me fifteen minutes to spend in my oasis as long as I recited to them the ending of a story I wrote for the last time. I spent the few moments I had left admiring the buzzing of the bees and the air flowing through the weeping willow’s long and devastated leaves. As crazy as it may sound, I really would miss this place. Those who reside beyond the concrete walls think that the facility houses savages, but I believe the true damnation lies beyond the barbed wire fences. I know when I exit the building and breathe in the smog infested oxygen, the dread of what is yet to come will take control.  

Everything used to be so different. There were parks with playgrounds, people on bikes, vendors selling flowers and food on every street, and color – the color is what I miss the most. Signs are posted everywhere, Chancellor Titus reminds my people, the deviants, of the war we lost. Grey posters that demanded, “Victory in their demise — Praise Titus!”, smothered every light pole, fire hydrant, and doorway in the city. Titus, or as I like to call him “the devil incarnate”, announced his ascension to power after the murder of Chancellor Michaelson. Some say he was weak, cared too much about the wrong things, and that’s why his power was taken so easily. He cared about our people, he wanted to feed the hungry, not the war, and that is what made him a target. I remember the day the Chancellor died, I was there, I hid in fear, I bit into my hand instead of screaming in terror. I realized that night that no matter how quiet I was, nothing would get in the way of a power-hungry dictator, not even a child.

I remember it like it was yesterday, the beginning of the panic started with the guards being shot, one bullet at a time. I heard it all as I lie hidden underneath a bed. I heard the distress in their voices as they begged and pleaded for mercy. I remember they found my mother first. She hid me in the cellar before the brutalities began. She told me over and over again, her voice full of quivering uncertainty, “It will all be okay”. I didn’t understand how she was so calm, she was screaming just hours earlier, some sort of pain was coming from her stomach. Drenched in sweat, her brown hair looked matted and her eyes shown red with distress. She looked worn thirty years by the time of the invasion, almost sickly. The doors came crashing down and I was forced backward by the blast. She held my hand, whispered, “I love you, Josephine” then we were ripped apart, my eardrums drowning from the sounds of her screams. “Jo run! Run now! Don’t look back!” I heard her yelling.

The adrenaline racing through me, I didn’t look back, I ran as fast as I could, tears running down my face, heart beating, gasping for air. I made it upstairs and immediately found myself in a room where I found the Chancellor. He rushed me underneath his bed and put his finger over his lips, urging me to keep quiet. I felt as if the familiar scents and dust bunnies would keep me safe, but, the gunshots grew louder and louder.

“Find the girl!” I heard in the halls.

There was a loud bang on the door, and another, and another. The door finally gave in, I expected the Chancellor to plead, just like the guards outside of the door. He didn’t, instead, he only uttered, “Do what you need to do to me, but don’t hurt her”.

The sound of the gun firing was never-ending. I heard the ringing in my ears until the Chancellor’s face met mine as he crashed to the floor gasping for his last breaths. I looked into his green eyes and silently pleaded for him to get up and fight. As he let out his last breath, I saw the life flee from his gaze and the blood drip through the blonde in his hair. I went numb, my cries stifled and my body lost all sense of fight or flight. I was dragged from underneath my invaded haven and didn’t put up a fight. The last thing I remember from that night was looking back on the lifeless body with eyes still open, searching for me, his daughter.

Everything from then until now has been a blurry nightmare which I only avoid through books. After the demise of my family, I was thrown into The Primaries and that’s where I have been for the past twelve years.

Elysian was no longer the home I once loved.  

 

52 Comments Add yours

  1. This is excellent writing. What is it from?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. It is an original story that I have created myself!

      Liked by 2 people

  2. I thought at first it might be a World War II diary, it was so realistic. It carries you along nicely with its suspense. Keep up the good work!

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Abdul Gani says:

    This made me feel soo real.. I thought somehow you knew this girl..

    Liked by 2 people

  4. Abdul Gani says:

    By the way.. Welcome to the blogging world.. Here you are totally free to share your thoughts.. So welcome to the blogging world !! Have a great time here

    Liked by 2 people

  5. kosmogonic says:

    Ah, with gasp of delicious horror, I only just realise that part 2 is still only in the ether! I await impatiently. This was captivating. I am full of admiration. Like all poets, I am really a frustrated screenwriter, so I hope to live and learn through your postings.

    Like

  6. I loved this! Awesome read! 😀

    Liked by 1 person

  7. theenchantedlabyrinth says:

    This is some fantastic writing!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Ravisingh says:

    Superb! I loved it!
    Hv a nice time!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Connie says:

    This is a great story! I love it and thought it was really your life story!
    I love the initial description, the fact that you chose to depict an orphan who lived behind those gates. It immediately grabbed my attention and made me want to go on reading.
    When I got to the latter paragraphs I thought to myself, I don’t remember a Chancellor with an English name… then when I scrolled down to read the comments that’s when I realized its your creation.
    Brilliant work!
    Connie
    http://www.sassy.mom

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you so much! I really appreciate your kind words. Stay tuned for more of the story!

      Like

  10. Wow, this really exceptional. Great work!

    Liked by 1 person

  11. stellasbv says:

    this is so amazing, honestly! i’d love to read more of that 🙂 keep going ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  12. lawrenceez says:

    Very good writing style.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I like this, it’s very inspired, keep writing.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. E. J. Gette says:

    This is good and an example of where I lack. Scene setup is si important and this is a good one.
    I wish my setup was better.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. Very captivating! I want part two..like now! 😊

    Liked by 2 people

  16. krulkbenson says:

    Your grammar is great, God bless you

    Liked by 1 person

  17. HarleyQ2 says:

    I enjoy that and I am looking forward to the next chapter.

    Liked by 1 person

  18. 1want to see Part two. The story drew me in. Thank you

    Liked by 1 person

  19. Ward Clever says:

    I’m hooked! What’s next, Nexus?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Part 2 is coming at the end of this month! Stay tuned!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Ward Clever says:

        Awesome. I’ll be here!

        Like

  20. Chris Hall says:

    Awesome dystopian fiction – more please!

    Liked by 1 person

  21. JWCMaher says:

    I think you need to expand your umbrella beyond only ‘screenwriter’! This is wonderful stuff, very visceral. The guards being taken down, one bullet at a time, gave a real sense of immediacy to it. Lovely stuff.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much! Stay tuned, part two will be released at the end of this month!

      Liked by 1 person

  22. Tooty Nolan says:

    Cripes, this is good stuff!

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Khan says:

    You have a terrific eye for detail. This was really well written. Ps: Thank you for checking out my blog.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Love this . Beautiful writing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Great writing! Keep up the fantastic work!

      Liked by 1 person

  25. Aslam Kakar says:

    Great write-up. Looking forward to more. Btw, thanks for visiting my blog and liking my post.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Dean Speaks Out says:

    Hello, and thanks for following me. Have you written any longer fiction? I am new to fiction, thought I couldn’t do it, found I can. So far, I’m just writing ABOUT writing on my blog but you’ve inspired me to maybe put one of my stories on. “The Primaries” is fascinating. I admire this kind of writing.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you very much! I have other works currently in progress but none that are completely ready to publish, even The Primaries is a continuous work in progress. I highly encourage you to try your hand at writing stories! They’re extremely wonderful to get lost in. All the best to you!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Dean Speaks Out says:

        I’ve got three novels under my belt, something I thought I’d never do, but have cheated on stories. Where the competitions allow it, I have combined and tweaked chapters from the novels into stand-alone stories. It has really whetted my appetite for actually writing stories from scratch. I’m afraid I won’t be able to figure out how to end them 🙂

        Liked by 1 person

      2. I never know the endings to my stories until it comes time to write them!

        Liked by 1 person

  27. Anand Bose says:

    Very interesting read. Anand Bose from Kerala

    Liked by 2 people

  28. eddaz says:

    Very awesome and captivating post. Definitely going to read the part 2 now.

    Liked by 1 person

  29. Dean Speaks Out says:

    If that’s the case–never knowing the ending–then I should be able to at least try. I am finding the most incredible thing so far about writing fiction is just that. My characters figure out where they’re going, and go there. If you ever have time, I would really appreciate your taking a look at the short excerpt on my site called “Ordinary Rituals” and giving me an honest critique. You are very good at this, and I’d value any suggestions. I started a historical novel yesterday–for about the fifth time! ! This one keeps stalling out. Anyway, I am loving Primaries. Thank you for posting them.

    Like

    1. Absolutely I would love to! And thank you so much for your loyal viewing! Stay tuned for part 3 later this month!

      Like

  30. You’re such a great writer! I hope to keep reading!

    Liked by 1 person

  31. aquis says:

    This felt so real! Such a captivating, beautifully crafted story!

    Liked by 1 person

  32. Well written. Loved it👌👌👌

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Check out Part II, up now!

      Liked by 1 person

  33. Jaya Avendel says:

    I love the way you show fear and sadness here in this story; the plain terror of men with guns invading and ripping apart the home you love.

    Liked by 1 person

  34. Wow! Beautiful and gripping beginning to your story! Off to read part two!

    Liked by 1 person

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